Saturday, October 5, 2013

Real talk



I've been struggling with a lot lately. I'm trying not to have a pity party but sometimes it's good to get things off of your chest. Most of you know, I had to have an emergency c-section due to high blood pressure with Baylor. What you don't know is that the high blood pressure decided to stick around long after Baylor was born. I never shared that because I never thought that I'd still be dealing with it 8 months later. If you are diagnosed with high blood pressure during a pregnancy it's pretty standard for your pressures to go back to normal right away. My case was a little different. Two weeks after having Baylor I went back for a routine postpartum check up. My blood pressure was still high but my doctor said that it was fine and to come back in three months. By then my pressures should be back to normal. Fast forward three months and I'm sitting in the doctors office getting more high readings and feeling really discouraged. They prescribed me with blood pressure medicine and sent me on my merry way. Well the pharmacist told me it wouldn't be wise to take the meds while breast feeding because it could affect Baylor in bad ways. So I had to choose. Of course I chose to continue to nurse Baylor. If you have blood pressure issues or know someone who does you can imagine how this effected me. I retained gross amounts of fluid all over my body. Resulting in me gaining weight and being terribly swollen. I woke up with headaches every morning. Every couple of weeks, most of the time sooner, it resulted in migraines. Some days I felt so sick that I couldn't pick my head up off of the pillow and had to call in help with Baylor. Since I'm a very hands on mom this broke my heart. About a month or so ago I had a really big breakdown. I was so swollen I was miserable, I had a migraine so bad it felt like my head was going to explode, I was all around sick. I decided then that me being like that was not what was best for Baylor. If I'm in bed with a migraine all the time I can't be my best for my family. We started the weaning process right away. A few weeks, tears, and sadness later he was weaned. Last week I went to the doctor. They prescribed me blood pressure meds and something to help with the fluid retention. A few days into it I felt like a new person. I lost 5lbs of fluid just in the first few days. Now here is my struggle.. Just in the few weeks that Baylor has been weaned he has gotten sick twice. Today he woke up with his head and chest congested. I know that if I were still nursing him that this wouldn't be an issue and he would be less likely to get sick. So now I feel even worse. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm mad. Mad that my body has turned on me. Mad that I can't do the one thing that is best for my baby. Mad that I'm now one of those people that can't leave the house without their meds. I also know though, that God wouldn't deal me anything that I can't handle. I can now confidently say that I am on the road to a healthier and happier me. Hopefully we can keep Baylor well after he gets over whatever he just caught and we will be on the right track. If you took the time to read through my little vent, thank you. If you have a story similar to mine I'd love to hear it. It always helps to know that you aren't alone. Thank you to everyone who continuously supports myself and this blog. It means the world to me. And even though I may seem a little absent here I am always thinking of ways I can make it better. 

Coming up we have a giveaway for the ladies! Stay tuned for lots of fun stuff on Everyday Bay. 

Xo, 
Jerika 

4 comments:

  1. I love you, Jerikia. Keep your head up and this will build up Baylor's immune system even though I'm sure it breaks your heart he's sick. It breaks mine too. But Baylor also wants a healthy mama.

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  2. Keep your chin up! Im still breastfeeding Asher and he woke up with a runny nose this morning... So those who tell you my breastfed baby never gets sick may be lying... Asher has been sick a few time so dont worry! These little bumps in the road will make them stronger for later sickies in life! I hope you both get to feeling better! xo!

    Emily

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  3. I did not breast feed my first born due to latching issues and he hardly ever got sick. I beast fed my second and I was on the E.R. All the time. He's two now and he's had a cold/cough for two weeks!!! We've already been to the dr and he's gone through 2 bottles of medicine. It's is beneficial to breast feed but to blame yourself for him getting sick is silly. Your a wonderful mom who loves her son very much and needs to be healthy for him. The fact of the matter is, baby's get sick ad there is nothing you can do about it sometimes as heartbreaking as that is. Keep your chin up. Besides his congestion is probably due to the weather change, since fall is officially here it may just be a little colder, or more dry outside... ;) you guys will be just fine! Get better!!!

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  4. Jerika, Kyle has been exclusively breastfed and has already been congested twice. Do not blame yourself. It sounds like this congestion is either the tail end of the original sickness or a result of a lowered immune system while recovering from first sickness. You 100% made the right call. Bay needs a healthy you. Formula is always evolving and getting better and closer to breastmilk.., and if I know anything from reading this and looking at your IG it is how much you love your son. I'm sure you got him the best formula possible. Also, I was a NICU preemie who was only formula-fed because they didn't give my mom a choice, and I was/still am never sick. My husband was nursed and he was sick a lot.

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